


A Thing I Can Use

by Twisted_Mind



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Canon Compliant, Canon-Typical Violence, Drabble Sequence, Heavy Angst, Implied/Referenced Character Death, M/M, Sacrifice, Songfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-07-25
Updated: 2013-07-25
Packaged: 2018-02-05 20:33:48
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 478
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1831348
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Twisted_Mind/pseuds/Twisted_Mind
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Severus has always been useful.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Thing I Can Use

**Author's Note:**

> Originally posted July 25th 2013 at HP Fandom. Betaed by Ghostwriter, and re-edited upon posting here. 
> 
> Despite how very real the below may be, I'm not JKR and do not own. Darn. Also: lyrics are the property of the wonderfulness known as Evanescence. Double-darn.

_You don’t remember my name_  
I don’t really care  
Can we play the game your way?  
Can I really lose control?  
  
***

  
 When Lucius offered a nightcap, Severus accepted without hesitation. After the Dark Lord’s ire, the invitation was welcome. He thought he knew what to expect—comfort from a double of good scotch and the familiar Malfoy grandeur.  
  
He thought wrong.  
  
He hadn’t expected the predatory look from the blond, or the way his tongue would possess Severus’s mouth. It was unexpected, but not unwelcome. Still, the question of why—why now? Why him?—remained. Uncertainty lay in his dark eyes. Then the aristocrat smirked, and Severus understood. They had shared everything else as Slytherins, brothers-in-arms, friends, confidants. Why not this?  
  


***

_Mary had a lamb, his eyes black as coal_  
If we play very quiet, my lamb, Mary never has to know . . .

***

  
  
From then until dawn, the only sounds were that of their laboured breathing and half-stifled gasps. Mouths and bodies met, sticking and sliding. Lucius sunk himself deep into the dark man, so deep that Severus thought he’d been branded. The next morning, smoothing his robes over vicious bites that he couldn’t bring himself to heal, Severus thought that might be true.  
  
They knew that if the Dark Lord ever found out, they’d both pay with their lives. The knowledge didn’t stop them from doing it again, and again, and again.  
  
Severus stroked Lucius’s throat. They’d just have to keep quiet.  
  


***  
 _If I cut you down to a thing I can use_  
I fear there’ll be nothing good left of you …

***

  
  
“You have to give him up, Severus.” The tone was soft, but that made it worse.  
  
Severus stood there, his heart turning to ice, clenched fists hidden inside his robes. “Understood, sir,” he finally ground out. His robes flared as he turned sharply, heading for the door.  
  
Dumbledore stopped him before he could stalk away. “I don’t ask lightly, my boy.”  
  
Severus left without replying.  
  
When he was gone, Albus sighed and massaged his temples. He knew that what he asked of Severus was far from fair, but he needed every possible resource. They had to win.  
  
Whatever the cost. 

***

_Just once in my life_  
I think it’d be nice  
Just to lose control, just once . . .

***

  
  
Severus leaned forward, his weight braced on his arms as he looked in the mirror. He was gaunt and haunted-looking, with parchment-pale skin and black rings around his eyes. He was a hollow shell of a man. A nothing. He sneered at himself, brimming over with self-loathing. The Dark Lord would kill him tonight.  
  
He turned away from his reflection; bitter that the only time in his life when he’d gotten what he wanted it had led him to this.  
  
His Mark burned. He breathed deeply, and Apparated to his death. He’d sworn to see this through, and he would. 

 


End file.
